Like living a movie

I've lived in a series of disconnected scenes in a movie during the last two weeks. Not a pervasive feeling, but just occasional moments striking me. Like I am the central female figure in a plotless-yet-dramatic film, but the character's face is never seen... only her feet, maybe her arms swinging as she walks. But you see what she sees and sometimes you have the same impression or emotion but you are never quite sure. Just this odd feeling of "I'm living in a scene from a movie" ... and these impressions, randomly striking. Like a sudden awareness of everything but yourself.

Moments walking down tunnels to the U-Bahn with semi-stale pressurized wind blowing hair and scarf and coat behind. Sitting on a bench in Hauptbanhof eating a baguette sandwich with brie and tomatoes, regarding the comings and goings of travellers.Croissants with chocolate and hot milchkaffee warming wetness from rainy Kreutzberg streets. Gazing upward at the changing violet, blue, pink, purple flush of the architectural tent suspended over the courtyard of the Sony Centre.

Cobbled stones underfoot on streets of a 13th century fishing village now plunked in the midst of urban sprawl and rushing traffic in Kopernick.

Drinking hot mulled wine with amaretto in the amber glow of a Christmas market at the base of an artificial snow slide in Potsdamer Platz, muffled people noise and the laughter and smiles of friends caressing ears. Being one of only 4 voyeurs at a showing of "shortbus" at an art-house rep-style cinema off Haupstrasse. Eating a full dinner at noon after a night of dancing and disjointed morning sleep.Anticipation of auditory pleasure on the edge of a seat in Tempodrom at the Jamie Cullum concert, while buying a freshly baked pretzel from a woman who produces it from a woven basket carried over her arm.

Twisted trunks and branches scratching rich blue sky above a trampolining pair of friends.


Caviar and Kermit accompanied by caipahrinas. Afterschool neighborhood homegoings observed on Akazienstrasse with Dads balancing sons on bicycle crossbars, backpacked girls skipping along and Moms klatching with prams at the sidewalk cafe feeding babies yogurt and bread.

Curves and lines and interesections inside the Reichstag Dom, slicing delicious pie pieces from the Berlin skyline.

And from inside the Dom to inside my head and inside the right now, right then at those moments. Feeling of being inside a bubble, insulated from the world and other people, like inside a camera looking out. Disembodied from corporeality. Not really sure if you're there at all. "I am here, I am in Berlin, I am here..." a mantra, reconnecting with and reminding of the absolute.

Does this happen when you are a stranger in a strange city without language or relationships? It wasn't unpleasant but definitely remarkable. And now home, where I have this new impression. Did it really happen? Was I really there?

Glimpses of self reflected in darkened glass.

Berlin and the Four Winds

We've now finished our work at the FEZ and the four of us are scattered somewhere around Berlin today. Perhaps by accident or design, I'm not sure, but this does happen to be the first day we haven't travelled and performed together for the morning.

Our engager was pleased with the things we did and we received quite positive feedback from and through him. The weekend was Family Day and lots and lots of parents and quite young children were about. We did a half hour on the main stage each day, which was meant to engage the audience and also provide some interaction. We did a song from "13 Ways" which is in the Maritime ballad-style and then a version of "The Log Drivers Waltz" (who knew that would be an aneurhythm? I've had it going thru my mind forever since Freitag!) We also had a trip to Canada with the help of the kids in the audience who made sounds for various parts of the country:city, farm, ocean and wilderness. Steven taught juggling a bit and we closed with Farewell to Nova Scotia and What Do You Do with a Drunken Sailor. Complete with the audience "Weigh Hey"ing during the chorus.

The weather has been amazingly warm for the time of year but now has become more seasonable for our few remaining days. We're hoping to see some shows and explore.

Big city. Bright lights.

In Progress and Progressing

Just a quick update... something that has eluded us for a very long time now. We are in Germany - I forgot my USB cable, so no pictures, but we've been too busy to take any anyway. Will try for some more later. Hope to get some shots at great places around Berlin in our costumes. I'll save description for photos.
The show went up today, with an audience of about 60 17 year-old German kids. They were cool, found humour where we hadn't noticed, transfixed by times and restless at others. So hard to gauge if it's the material, us or the language issue.

Still, not too bad for not having had a real dress rehearsal in real space! Plus, the technician we thought we were to have didn't show, so it was all done in general light. That was ok except for certain spots where a lighting cue would have enhanced our transitions. Plus Steven and Eric had spent ages creating cues and writing things out the previous day, so it was too bad their efforts went to waste, at least for today.

I realized afterwards, we are all "on" this entire show, switching characters, attitudes and mostly everything almost constantly. Occasionally someone drops out, just watches, but we're all there all the time. It's a very fast show, has ended up being focussed almost entirely on the myth of Icarus, using the key features as allegory for an apocalyptic sense of the world... labyrinths, mazes, powerful kings, gods and mortals, young people and adults. Makes sense to us! We'll see how it goes with audiences and beyond.

More work to be done!